Getting Started

It can be overwhelming to figure out where to begin when there are so many ways to start affirming our gender. There is no one correct way to be trans or gender diverse, and social affirmation will look different for every person. Let’s explore how socially affirming your gender might look.

Social affirmation is, for the most part, entirely reversible, and it can happen at any point, without help from medical or legal institutions, and at any age.

For many trans and gender diverse people, changing your name and pronouns might be the first thing you try. This doesn’t have to mean telling everyone, or even updating anything legally, you can experiment with new language in whatever way works for you. If you’re thinking about coming out, whether to specific people or the whole world, we’ve got some advice and information about that, too.

Social affirmation might also include trying new or different clothing, tucking and binding parts of your body, using prosthetics like packers or breast forms, growing, cutting or shaving your hair, and playing around with how you use your voice.

Trans people might also experience dysphoria, and we have information and advice to relieve this for people of all genders. We also discuss the contentious topic of passing, which is a colloquial term for when you are publicly read as cisgender by others.

All of this doesn’t just happen in our lives and on our bodies, it occurs out in the world too and many like to experiment with social affirmation through friendships and romantic relationships, and that might include how people choose to, or not to, have sex. You can also read about ways to engage with social affirmation in schools and universities, workplaces, clubs and community groups, and while playing sport.

There are multiple and amazing ways to be trans or gender diverse, even if you, or the people around you, think you might change your mind. A question we are often asked, or one we ask ourselves, is “Am I trans enough?” - Whatever that means. The short answer is: if you’re thinking about it, then the answer is probably yes but rushing, pushing or feeling pressure to do anything when you’re not ready is likely to cause more stress than joy.

If you’re interested in finding out more about medical or legal gender affirmation, click through to those too.

This already might seem like a lot, but each of these pages breaks these topics down into some simple, manageable steps, and seeks to answer some of the questions you may have.

Figuring out how you are isn’t ever a quick process, and for many people, both trans and cis, it can take a lifetime of little changes and adjustments. It’s okay to make mistakes, or to reconsider, or to need some more time. It’s also okay to dive in right this very moment.